8th Post - Why The Tea Party is Crazy

Let's reveal my bias, first and foremost. I despise the Tea Party. Not just because it's a neo-conservative movement, but because it's a really fucking stupid one. I am tired of seeing "Don't Tread on Me" flags and bumper stickers being flown outside houses and being slapped on vehicles on politically indolent imbeciles who have no appreciation of what that flag means.

So first off, a history lesson! The DTOM flag, also known as the Gadsden Flad, was first flown over 250 years ago. During the period of time we American citizens like to call the Revolution. You know, that REALLY important thing where they decided to kick Britain out of the country and found the United States of America and a centralized government with a constitution with its most important focus being on the freedom of religion? BREATHE. Yeah, THAT.

I am getting some of my information from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gadsden_flag, the other stuff I just know from paying attention in school and watching the History Channel way too much, if there is such a thing. So, basically, the rattlesnake represents the fact that England was being the biggest bitch possible to us, so Ben Franklin joked that a great way of being bitchy back was to throw some rattlesnakes their way. The "Don't Tread on Me" statement is pretty straightforward. You are over there, we are over here. Leave us alone, or we'll bite you with our venomous fangs.

So why is the Tea Party stupid for using this flag? Because simply, it has nothing to do with their main mission statement of stripping away a strong centralized government, civil rights, and being entirely racist. Sure, you can go look at their website and it all looks fine and dandy. They want fiscal responsibility and a constitutionally limited government. Sweet! But let's look at some things they don't agree with, and then check back with that good ol' Constitution.
Health Care Reform: They don't want government regulated health care because it oversteps the bounds of the government into the private sector. Constitution says: Article I, Section VIII - "provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States." Huh, so general welfare? And it should be uniform throughout the United States? Sounds pretty legit to me...
Gay Marriage: They don't like it, cause it's all anti-Christian and that good stuff. Constitution says: Nothing (Except that whole "right to privacy" thing). Interesting. You mean, marriage isn't legally defined as between and woman and a man only?! But it still isn't legal? Weeeeird...
Abortion: Once again, they don't like it cause it kills a bunch of cells that will probably turn out to be another human (like we don't have enough of those already). Constitution says: Nothing, again...(except that whole "right to privacy" deal...again). You mean, abortion isn't illegal?! Oh, and the Supreme Court decided that abortion was legal under the right to privacy statute? This statement sums it up quite well: "The opinion of the Roe Court, written by Justice Harry Blackmun, declined to adopt the district court's Ninth Amendment rationale, and instead asserted that the 'right of privacy, whether it be founded in the Fourteenth Amendment's concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action, as we feel it is, or, as the District Court determined, in the Ninth Amendment's reservation of rights to the people, is broad enough to encompass a woman's decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy.'"

So these THREE major things that the Tea Party stands against, are actually and could actually be easily enforced by the Constitution? The very document they use to further their radical movement? Once the ridiculous contradictions that are the driving force behind this movement are discovered, the Tea Party will hopefully be no more.